A Crisis of Identity
by Darkworld
Summary: Who am I? The thought is one all too familiar. But perhaps none have been more sincere than Jinx. Her betrayal has gone against everything that has ever had meaning. Discovery can be a frightening thing, especially if it must begin from within.


A/N: **_READ THIS_**. Alright you guys, this is just a little story I did for fun. So don't confuse the doings of Lan and Jinx in this one-shot to the current plot in my other Teen Titans story Perfect Deceit. Think of this as some sort of...parallel universe, I dunno, with a different Jinx and Lan or something. Thanks, don't forget that reviews are greatly appreciated.

* * *

Resting her forehead against the window pane, Jinx exhaled softly, her breath fogging her view of the gray evening. Rain beat against the glass, the steady patter the only sound in her otherwise silent apartment. She looked over her shoulder, taking in her sparsely furnished living space with slight disappointment. 

"Not exactly how I thought I'd be starting my hero career," she mused, her eyes lighting on the Titan communicator, painfully silent on her desk.

Jinx returned her attention to the window, watching the street shudder with thousands of minute ripples.

_But what was I expecting? _

Not much, this lack of response was exactly what she had predicted. And could she blame them? There were so many other Titans now.

"And none of them were criminals," Jinx muttered. But she had came, she had fought against the Brotherhood just like the rest, wasn't it enough for them? She took another glance at her quiet communicator.

Apparently not.

The solution to this problem was obvious, fight along with her comrades until she earned their trust. The difficulty lay in being _allowed _to fight. No faction of the now massive Titan organization would take her.

She frowned, running through her head the multiple branch teams spawned from the Brain's failed attempt. It was ironic, in a way. The Brotherhood's plan to destroy them had only served to create a massive network of heroes spanning across the globe. A united, international force.

One Jinx could not be a part of.

_Maybe I should just work alone. It wouldn't be- _

A knock on the door distracted Jinx from her musings. She raised an eyebrow, clambering off her bed.

Swinging open the door, Jinx took in the teen with a scrutinizing flicker of her eyes. He was dressed casually, a long t-shirt falling over his lean frame to cover his pants, the faded jeans drooping below his thin waist.

"Can I help you?"

"Oh, I hope so," he replied. His eyes glimmering through a curtain of ragged hair, "are you Jinx?"

"Yeah, you know me?" She questioned, slightly unnerved by the newcomer's crooked grin.

"Not really," he shrugged, "but I think we can fix that. Name's Lan."

Something clicked in Jinx's brain. The strange man suddenly looking very familiar.

"I remember you," she rubbed unconsciously at her arm, her fingers tracing over faded scars.

Lan's smile widened, "and I remember you. 'S why I'm here. Our...little run-in a few months back got me thinking."

"Yeah? What do you want?"

"You're a damn good fighter. I could use that kind of heat at Titans New York."

_Fucking YES. _Jinx leaned against the door frame, suppressing her excitement.

"I didn't know there _was _a branch in NY."

"Oh, there ain't, not yet," Lan said cheerily, "'s why I'm recruiting."

"You couldn't have just called?"

"Oh, no. No, no, no." He shook his head vigorously. "I wanted to meet _you _in person. After all, you'll be team leader."

"Me? Why not you? You started this." Jinx asked, giving Lan a skeptical look.

"Oh, people won't listen to me. Not the leader type, y'see. But _you_, you've got that certain..._flare. _There's somethin' special 'bout you."

"And for my services I'll be paid...?"

"Ah...you ain't lost that criminal greed," Lan chuckled, "don't worry. Money ain't no issue."

"How much?" Jinx demanded.

Lan cocked his head to the side, his eyes moving slowly across her face. "For you? Lets say...a rough five hundred grand a year," he estimated airily.

"..." It was all Jinx could do to keep her jaw from dropping.

Lan frowned at her lack of response, "five-fifty?"

"No...no, that's fine, it's just – _five hundred _thousand? The Titans are government funded, how did you convince them to pay you that?"

"I didn't," Lan shrugged, "I'll be paying you a little extra outta my own pocket."

"_Your _pocket?"

He chuckled, "consider me a very active benefactor."

"But I suppose you'll be above my rules?" Jinx asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"Oh I wouldn't say _above_. But I will be a bit...slow, on the uptake," Lan gave her a wink, "you're just gonna have to try a tad harder with me."

"Alright, when can I start?"

"We're a long way from that, Jinx. You've still got a team to pick out," Lan dug into his pocket, producing his car keys, "but lets do that over a drink, yeah? I'm thirsty."

* * *

"Take a good look," stepping out of the coffee shop, Lan indicated the city with a sweep of his arm, "it's the last time you'll see it for a looong while." The rain had ceased, leaving only the scent of the heavy storm behind. 

"Eh," Jinx shrugged nonchalantly, resting her back against the wall, "I won't miss it this city."

"And I'm sure this city won't miss you," Lan nodded towards the opposite walk across the street, the odd passerby chancing a spiteful glare at Jinx.

"Doesn't matter," Jinx snorted sharply, "the bastards don't have the balls to try anything else."

"Fuck, you sure it's worth it? Being a hero?" Lan tore open a sugar packet with his teeth, dumping it unceremoniously into his coffee.

Jinx sighed, her breath disturbing the wreaths of steam curling lazily from her cup. "Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to go back to holding up banks."

"How d'ya feel about the whole hero gig, anyways?"

"It's...different, more difficult. It requires a certain optimism about humanity." Jinx said softly, an idle finger tracing the rim of her cup. "I want to see the good in people, I really do, but it's hard."

"Why?"

"Because it's not worth it." Jinx replied bitterly. "For every good deed I see, there's enough selfish, horrible people to make that sort of selfless kindness a...a _waste._"

Lan smiled grimly. "The world's fucked up, and it doesn't matter who tries to help, there's always more assholes screwin' it all up."

"Exactly!" Jinx threw up her arms in a sort of exasperated gesture. "Doesn't it feel like we're the only ones who care, or even notice?"

"I hear ya, sister," Lan raised his cup high, giving her a nod, "but that don't explain why you went criminal. Made the problem worse, didn't it?"

"Ugh..." Jinx's shoulders slumped, bringing a hand to her temple, "I was a stupid kid, obviously. A constantly, bitter, angry kid."

Lan chuckled, "not sure you fixed the 'bitter' and 'angry' part."

"I like to think of my rage as more...refined than it was in my youth." Jinx replied, giving Lan a smile over the rim of her glass. "Now that I'm not _that_ person anymore, I can see that's what it was all really about..."

Her smile faded.

"Anger."

"That don't sound like fun."

"No, it wasn't," Jinx muttered bitterly, "I just felt this perpetual hatred for the world, and it wouldn't go away."

Jinx sighed wearily.

"I don't think I was...completely sane as a kid," she tapped her temple, "a few screws loose, y'know what I mean?"

"Perfectly." Lan replied with a humorless laugh. "'S called, therapy, girl. Worked wonders for me."

"Unfortunately I didn't realize I had a problem until it was too late. Eventually my rage piled up so high that it blinded me. I forgot where it all came from, and I stopped caring. All I wanted to do was get rid of it."

"So you went bad?"

"As rotten as I could go."

"And how'd _that _work out for you?" Lan chuckled at the glare Jinx sent his way.

"For awhile, it was...exhilarating," she admitted regretfully, "hurting people was a rush."

"For awhile?"

"It...it wasn't so great after the first few years, I went to bed feeling this sort of emptiness. But I didn't care." Jinx's voice shook with the slightest tremor. "Then...one day I woke up, and the guilt just sort of hit me. All the lives I'd ruined, it – _God _it just got to me."

"So you left."

"Eventually, it took me awhile. Longer than it should've."

To her surprise,a satisfied smile blossomed onto Lan's face. He dug into his pocket, producing a long, rectangular slip of paper.

"I _knew _you were the right choice," he handed what Jinx recognized as an airline ticket towards her.  
Her eyes scanned over the ticket, her lips spreading into a grin of her own.

"First class."

"Only the best," Lan raised his cup, "to the Titans New York, and its valiant new leader."

Jinx followed suit, her cup hitting against his in a toast.

"I'll drink to that."

A/N: What'd you think? Let me know your opinions in a review.


End file.
